Just One Minute
Balanced Fare: We Report, You Deride

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

No Smoking Zone

So I am looking at the front page of the paper, and imagining myself as an intrepid FBI agent. What do we have today, here is a story about forest fires, interesting. And here is a story about a domestic terrorist, bummer. Take a sip of coffee, mmmm.

So let's see, the fire is near Denver, careless campers, dry winter, homes are being evacuated...

[Hold it. That's an interesting idea, but I have big problems with it.]

Excuse me, I'm sitting in my FBI office with a cup of coffee, who are you?

[Get with it, MinuteMan. I'm an Alert Reader. You like feedback, don't you? This is a blog, yes?]

Well, feedback adds to the fun, know your audience, exchange ideas, but I normally like to finish the post first, so if you'll excuse me...

I'm back at the FBI, people are evacuating homes, OK, domestic terrorists, what could they be planning that would disrupt thousands of lives this summer, I wonder...

[Look, we get it. Tom Ridge in a Smokey the Bear Hat. But the idea has big problems, and anyway you'll never find that link you want.

Look, I haven't read this idea anywhere, it's a new idea, for me anyway. And maybe I will find that link, don't give up on google like that. And I like this idea, terrorists starting forest fires, look at the Western cities they could threaten. LA, Sacramento, Denver, I don't know, I'm a Yankees fan.

[Sure, but these guys want casualties, not property damage. And if a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?]


[Oh, keep up, MinuteMan. If a terrorist starts a forest fire and no one even knows it was deliberate, is it terror?"]

Whoa, is this some sort of "auto-rebut" feature that Blogger just added? The terrorists could leave clues. Hey, maybe they could leave one for you.

[And even if you are right, there is nothing that law enforcement can do. Can't outlaw hiking, or camping, or carrying matches and lighter fluid.]

Man, you're negative. You can't stop them if you don't try. But I'm going to try to stop you.

[I'm leaving.]

And now I've lost my train of thought.

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