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Balanced Fare: We Report, You Deride

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

He's Lying, The Scurvy Dog!

More on the American diet:

A diet completely lacking in fruits and vegetables caused a young college student to develop a condition linked to a low intake of vitamin C, US researchers reported Tuesday.

The young man developed scurvy even though he was eating plenty of calories and had no deficiencies in most other vitamins and minerals.

Whoa. A day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine. And a day without sunshine is like night. What was this guy eating?

The student confessed to doctors that he ate no fruits and vegetables, consuming only a few types of foods--namely, cheese, crackers, soda, cookies, chocolate and water.

Oh, cut the BS. Any college student knows that the four basic food groups are pizza, chocalate, beer, and caffeine. Cheese and crackers with white wine, soda, cookies for the munchies - gimme a break. Try an occasional screwdriver, or a Bloody Mary even.

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