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Balanced Fare: We Report, You Deride

Saturday, March 22, 2003



France Demands The Surrender Of US And UK Troops

Speaking at the UN today, the French Foreign Minister declared that, if Saddam will not accede to UN demands, then the US and the UK must. "Sacre bleu", he said, "Does no one listen to us? Our squeaky little voice will be heard!"

Proposed terms of the Allied surrender are still being discussed. The French Ambassador has threatened that, in the event of Allied non-compliance, the UN kitchen will commence to serve an exclusively English menu. The UN translators are looking for the words to describe "Bubble and Squeak" and "Toad-in-the-Hole". Less diligent translators will probably settle for a generic "what is this sh**!"

Observers are relieved that, so far, the French have not threatened the UN gastronomes with the "Irish Option", which of course is the insistence that the kitchen serve only the traditional Irish seven course supper. However, many observers suspected that the French delegation must have recently tested the "Irish Option" on themselves.

OK, link back to "reality".


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